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naamahdarling:

territorialcreep:

watson-i-am-your-turtle:

aliencupcake:

azzandra:

fuckyeahsexpositivity:

sexartandpolitics:

Study: Free birth control leads to way fewer abortions - CBS News

Way fewer.

NO. WAY.

image

—BB

Weird. It’s almost like people who do not get pregnant don’t even need abortions.

IN OTHER NEWS WATER IS WET

IN RELATED NEWS: SCIENTISTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THE EARTH REVOLVES AROUND THE SUN.

NOW OVER TO JIM WITH THE SPORTS REPORT

“WELL BOB IT APPEARS BASKETBALL IS INDEED PLAYED WITH A BASKET. AND A BALL.”

TODAY, UNDER A FUCKING ROCK UNIVERSITY’S DEPARTMENT OF REALLY OBVIOUS SHIT PUBLISHED AN ARTICLE ENTITLED “THAT’S HOW IT FUCKING WORKS, YOU FUCKING DIPSHITS” IN THE JOURNAL OF THINGS I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU FOR GODDAMN FREE. AMERICAN POPULACE AWAITS A LAYMAN’S INTERPRETATION.

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

(Source: agirlandhisplatypus)

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